Thing #1 not to do on an airplane: Get up before drinks have been served.
Unless it’s an emergency, it’s best to wait. Otherwise you could end up like the poor sap on my flight to Las Vegas who got stuck behind the cart for 10 minutes waiting to get back to his seat.
Thing #2 not to do on an airplane: Hog the space in the overhead bins.
Seriously, you get to put one item in there and that’s it. Unless the plane is miraculously not full (almost never these days), you are being rude if you put your coat, your rolling bag, and your personal item up there. Two of those things need to go under the seat in front of you.
Thing #3 not to do on an airplane: Moving stuff in overhead bins.
The flight attendants are authorized to do this, but the last three passengers on a plane are not. Ask them for help. If they are busy with something and you move someone’s bag to a space into which yours doesn’t fit, you should at least attempt to find the owner and give them a heads up. You’re touching my stuff. Nobody touches my stuff, except me.
Thing #4 not to do on an airplane: Going barefoot.
Are you kidding me with this? Barf. I hate taking off my shoes going through security because of the germs, but I dislike getting a shakedown from the TSA agents even more, so off the shoes go. On the plane though? Grody…to the max. Either bring slippers if your feet need freedom or suck it up and keep those shoes on like the rest of us normals.
Thing #5 not to do on an airplane: Not waiting your turn to disembark.
Seriously, calm the hell down people. I want to get off the plane too, but the little old lady in front of me can only move so fast. Give us all a break. I’m trying to get my bag out of the overhead bin as fast as I can. Yeah, I need to pee. It’s getting stuffy. I get it, but like merging on a freeway ramp, if we all take our turns and don’t be assholes, this will move along much more quickly.